In the recent weeks I have begun to fight an unrelenting battle to discover who I truly am, the being of my core. I am so continuously guilty of finding my identity in my surroundings, rather than in my heart and my soul. I find my identity in being a college freshman, in being Jessie’s twin sister, in being Evan’s girlfriend, in being a leader of my youth group, in my knowledge and experiences… I tend to take what people say I am and rightly make that who I am, in the full knowledge that that may or may not be me. My essence thrives on other’s opinions of who I am, not that I am out to impress but instead to live on what they suppose, rather than what I know. I let people believe what they think. Though I am a leader, I am not confident; I have no idea who I am or what I want in life. After eighteen years of life, I have yet to determine any possible gifts and abilities that I may possess. I do know that I am emotional. I am indecisive. I care about a person’s wants and needs. I want to live God’s best for my life, yet I have no concept of what it is.
I must find my identity in Christ. He designed my character, my being, and I cannot genuinely honor Him with my life until I am living out who and what He created me to be; whether that means breaking away from the forged and artificial person I have become or excavating my insides to recover the truth within my being.
Meanwhile, I had a really great time at camp. I am sad that this is my last summer as a camper, but I expect there will be greater opportunities in college; whether it be on a summer traveling team, or in a foreign country on a 6 week missions internship. I cannot imagine how uplifting, yet exhausting, a summer of service and sacrifice would be. The friends, memories, and lessons will never be forgotten.
I must find my identity in Christ. He designed my character, my being, and I cannot genuinely honor Him with my life until I am living out who and what He created me to be; whether that means breaking away from the forged and artificial person I have become or excavating my insides to recover the truth within my being.
Meanwhile, I had a really great time at camp. I am sad that this is my last summer as a camper, but I expect there will be greater opportunities in college; whether it be on a summer traveling team, or in a foreign country on a 6 week missions internship. I cannot imagine how uplifting, yet exhausting, a summer of service and sacrifice would be. The friends, memories, and lessons will never be forgotten.
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