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Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts

Thursday, April 05, 2012

The Pysanka on My Desk

 
Over the weekend, a co-worker returned from a one-week educational trip to the Ukraine. I was so, so, so touched (and surprised!) when she came to my desk on Monday morning with three things: two bags of caramel candies and an egg - a beautifully hand-painted [rather: written on with bees wax,] wooden, traditional Ukrainian egg called a “pysanka.” (She didn’t tell me this… I wondered what this ‘thing’ actually was, so I did what any resourceful person would do, I googled it!)

I was so touched that Joanne thought of me! She doesn’t know me well enough to know my fondness for unique, “transcontinentalsouvenirs, but she did very well with this purchase, as I am (perhaps, strangely) attracted to this egg. I just love souvenirs, especially intercultural treasures!

Why? A souvenir is an object a person acquires for the memories the owner associates with it. The object itself has no real significance other than the psychological connection the possessor has with the object as a symbol of past experience. I have shelves of dolls, elephants, paintings, shells, boxes, statues, magnets, key chains, money, etc. - souvenirs and gifts from Cambodia, Mexico, Honduras, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, Mozambique, South Africa, Puerto Rico, Canada, the Philippines, the Czech Republic, Thailand, India, and Haiti (all of which I have been to, except the last 5). To me, they represent people and stories, memories of the best times of my life.

As I said, my pysanka is hand-painted; the detail is intricate and its pattern would require careful attention to fashion. I wonder about my pysanka .
Who painted the egg?
Was it grandfather whose family has been in the pysanka business for generations and generations?
Was a single mother who learned a trade to support her three children at home?
Where was it made?
In a large, dirty factory that pays its workers less than the profits of the egg?
In the crafters home, on the same table their meals are presented?
Where was it sold?
In a small, quaint shop?
By a vendor at the market?
On a glass shelf, in the mall, where only tourists shop?
What did it cost?

What could this egg tell me about the Ukraine? About the person who painted it?

Now the egg sits on my desk; for now, it's the egg's new home.  What stories could this egg tell from its new resting place?

Will the egg hear gossip or encouragement?
Will the egg see my smiling as co-workers and strangers walk past my desk; or will the egg see me frowning when *certain numbers* appear on my caller ID?
Will the egg hear me grumbling and complaining, or being grateful?
Will the egg see me spending my time wisely?

Love love love, 
Jewel

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

My Decision to Trust

I have been worried for some time about how Titus and I are not only going to raise enough support to live in Cambodia, but how we are even going to earn enough to live on our own in the States.
After five weeks of searching and submitting thirty-five (35!) applications, I finally found a job that pays only minimum wage, but offers 40 hours a week. For the most part, I have been content where I am.

That is... until I got a call two weeks ago regarding my application to be a waitress at Bob Evans. What a perfect opportunity! I had no intentions of quitting work at the cemetery, but working an evening and weekend shift at Bob Evans and adding $$$ to our savings. I had two great interviews, and I was asked to schedule a third interview. After the second interview, I was confident that I would get the job; I even memorized the menu!

Then on the morning of interview #3, I woke up feeling incredibly stressed and overwhelmed. Something wasn't right. I opened my Bible to have my devotions and my reading of the day from Proverbs was Proverbs 3:5,6.


Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.


The job I have now at the cemetery is only temporary, and I have been so worried/stressed/anxious about finding another job when this job ends in September. On the morning of interview #3, I realized that I don’t trust God to provide another job [even though He was faithful to provide this job, just when I needed it!]

So I prayed and [somehow] worked up the guts to call and cancel my third interview.

Maybe God provided this restaurant job opportunity now to test me – to see if I still have faith in His provision; to see if I will still be faithful to be involved in the ministry now, or if I am too concerned about the future.

I have been selfish to think that NOW is only a time to prepare for a future of ministry and being used. God is requiring so much more of me NOW. I have been too blind to see that, because I have been looking at me and my own needs. While my intentions have been good – to prepare myself for a strong future ministry – the result has been what I believe is not the direction that God wants me to be walking in.

I believe He will provide (both now and later,) but I can’t honestly say that my belief has completely transformed the way that I am thinking and making decisions. If I trust that God will provide a job later, why am I worrying about finding one now? So I still have some fear and hesitations.

I am not going to get a second job; instead, I am going to look for places where I can be used by God.   Please pray that my belief in God’s provision will help me to make better decisions and worry less.

Love love love, Jewel

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wants and Haves

Yesterday, I had a painful realization that I have been wanting too much and I have not been giving enough consideration or reflection to what I already have. None of the things that I want are bad, but I am guilty of being ungrateful for what I do have.

Praise the Lord, I woke up with a thankful spirit, and I believe that is due to going to bed with a thankful heart, and praying a prayer of thankfulness. So, since yesterday evening, I have been desperately trying to erase the wants in my mind and engraving a list of haves on my heart. Here are just a few:

- I want more sleep ……………. I have a soft bed, air-conditioning, and warm blankets that allow me to sleep well each night. I also have a dad who gets worried when I don’t wake up with my 1st, 2nd, or even 3rd alarm; the same dad makes me coffee every morning before work. ♥♥♥
- I want a better job ……………. I have a good job that offers me 40 hrs/wk, with people who ask about my life and make me laugh – people I have really enjoyed getting to know. ♥♥♥

- I want more time with Jessie before she moves to New York for one year ……………. I have two more weeks, and I am going to take advantage of every day with her. ♥♥♥

- I want Grandmom to be cancer-free and healthy ……………. I have a God who is Father and Healer, and has faithfully brought Grandmom through much sickness, hospitalization, and therapy in the last two years. ♥♥♥

- I want my fiancĂ© beside me ……………. I have confidence that God will open the way for Titus to come to America in a few weeks. ♥♥♥

- I want a vacation ……………. I have a 3-day-weekend with a list of fun, stress-free activities planned, including: camping with friends, sitting by the fire, time with family from Ohio, a 50%-off sale at Goodwill, reading a book, watching fireworks, grilling out and swimming, and sleeping in. ♥♥♥

As I post this, I am on my way to lunch. I have leftover chicken salad and a bowl of fruit; a blanket for a sunny picnic in the soft, green grass; my Bible, journal, highlighter, and pen. My sister is on her way to Kokomo Beach, where she will relax in the lazy river, and get her tan on. However, tomorrow, she will be at home, writing a paper for grad. school, and I will be receiving a big paycheck (and saving it for a luxurious honeymoon. ♥♥♥)

Love love love, Jewel

Monday, May 09, 2011

Thoughts on Monday morning

I have a hard time complaining about so much rain rain rain when I remember the Japan tsunami, tornados in the South, the flooding Mississippi River, and other recent natural devastations. I might not enjoy soggy pant legs, but by God's grace, I know my home and my family has been fortunate. I am grateful.

Today's goal: Buy toothpaste. Since Jessie took my toothpaste to the Philippines, I have gone through my stash of travel-sized toothpaste tubes and I am currently sharing a tube with my parents, although not sharing a bathroom. An annoying inconvenience that I can easily take care of if I can get to the store.

I have been slowly and gradually unpacking from college and cleaning my room - organizing, trashing, and donating - for over a week now. Last night after church and an ice cream sundae with friends Janna and Jessa, I made huge progress in my room. While putting things away, I found our old N64 Nintendo and I set it up later in the evening and played a races in Mario Kart.  So many childhood memories still packed away in drawers and closets. ♥♥♥

That's all I have for now.

Love love love, Jewel

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Still Remembering 2009...

As I said in a previous post (Remembering 2009), I have been reviewing the incredible memories, the life-changing moments, the glorious victories and the miserable defeats, the people that came and the people that went, and how it all brought me to where I am at the beginning of 2010. I encourage you to do the same.
I spent the last few days at my sister's house, watching Baby Face, so on New Years Eve, this is only my 2nd post in the series of 2009 memories. But here are a few more::

3. In May, while I was in Cambodia, my grandmom (who is so very very dear to me) got very very very sick. At eighty-years-old, she isn't as strong as she used to be, but she has always been independent, and she has been healthy (since she was my grandmom at least.)
I was three weeks into my six week trip, and made my first phone call home. Dad answered, we talked for a couple minutes, and then he told me Mom wasn't home because she was at the hospital with Grandmom. He was Grandmom was in the ICU but getting better... I was promptly devastated (like I said, Grandmom is always well and she means the world to me) and asked to talk with twin sis, Jessie, who had just returned a week early from the Philippines.
I wanted to ask her all about the Philippines and tell her all about Cambodia, but unfortunately it took me too many minutes to calm down and be assured that many people were praying, and Grandmom would still be there when I returned.
I didn't want to leave Cambodia, but I wanted to be no where else except beside my sick little Grandmom's bed in the Intensive Care Unit. The next day I found myself with a 104 fever, nausea, aching, exhaustion, etc., I was pretty sure that I was only sick with worry, but doctor tests a week later proved otherwise.
Anyways, three weeks later, Grandmom was improving when I returned to America six weeks after her emergency trip to the hospital. The last three weeks in Cambodia taught me a lot about trusting God with the care of my loved ones, because there was absolutely nothing I could do from the other side of the globe. It stretched me.. it broke me.. it gave me a better idea of life in Cambodia, with family and friends in the States.
I'm glad to have it behind me!!

4. Although I lost some friends to disagreements or moving away, I gained some lifers, six in particular: Aimee, Loren, Ashton, Hannah, Angela, and Zoey.

These are the girls that I spent three weeks with in Cambodia (and also hours of preparation before and meals and chats since,) and we had some life-changing experiences together. We have laughed together, cried together, slept together. It's been real - real fun, real interesting, real exciting, real awkward, real hot, and real beautiful. I love them and couldn't imagine 2009 without them!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Remembering 2009...

2009 was a good year! Looking back upon the events of 2009, this post will be the first of a short series to review the incredible memories, the life-changing moments, the glorious victories and the miserable defeats, the people that came and the people that went, and how it all brought me to where I am at the beginning of 2010. I encourage you to do the same.

First, I had an immense wound immensely healed. I would like to say that this is especially thanks to one person, but because I know he wouldn't accept any credit for himself, rather he would attribute it to God and to my own strength, I won't mention his name. He has been a huge huge huge blessing in my life, and I really don't know what I would have done in Fall 2008 and early Winter and Spring 2009 without him.
After a big, nasty bump in the road we call life, my life found it's purpose, and again had strength, joy, and peace in knowing God, knowing what I meant to God, and knowing that God is there. Thank you! [You know who you are!]
This passage pretty much basically sums up PERFECTLY the utter lostness, the abundant love, and the great faithfulness:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him...

Lamentations 3:19-25


Second, I watched my niece grow from this --- to this!


From 6 months to 18 months!
It's been exciting to see Leah grow teeth, grow hair, learn to sit, to walk, to crawl, to eat, to smile, to cackle... and now she's out of the spitting up stage [for good I think!], and for that I am grateful! Baby Face, Aunt Jewel loves you so much!!
I love how you smile all the time!
I love how you eat so much and make such a mess!
I love how much you love Gramps and Grams!
I love your chubby fingers!
I can't wait to spend the next three days with you!



PS: You are right, it was God and my own strength, but it was YOU that helped me discover those two things!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Two Grandparents, Two Babies, and Life Lessons on Love

It is evident that my blogs have been lacking depth.. or even activity.  If you care, I apologize.  It is not that I do not have things to write about, but I simply have not found the time.  Believe me, I do NOT live a dull life -  I may have fallen asleep on Friday at 8:30PM and was awoken at 11AM on Saturday, but I do live an exciting life!!!  As I sit here in my new favorite spot on campus (secluded tables in upstairs Noggle), I am concluding a personal narrative for Advanced Writing, then I will begin for tomorrow a New Testament paper, and honestly.. I haven't even glanced over the requirements, including the subject.  No need to say more.  I will include a portion from my advanced writing paper.  It delves into a the life of a person who has made a huge impact on my life.  Enjoy.. or don't.  I promise next entry will include pictures!


On my desk sits a very special photograph, a rather sentimental and precious image of two beautiful people, a young infant and her great grandma. The picture, taken in early August, depicts a petite elderly woman, my grandmom, embracing a tiny one-month-old baby girl, my niece Leah Marie. I received the picture via email three days before the conclusion of a long, difficult, and emotional journey away from home, my family, and all that is familiar. Receiving the picture brought strength, joy, and peace to my lonely heart, for the image portrays a love that is foundational to nearly all aspects of my life. My granddad and grandmom, full of love, humility, and selflessness, and two baby girls, my niece and goddaughter, full of innocence, beauty, and joy, have taught me significant life lessons regarding my relationship with others, God, and myself. Through receiving gracious and merciful love by Granddad and Grandmom, and giving bountiful love to Leah and Kiara Sofia, my heart has been molded to love and be loved like I never could have imagined.
Harvey “Gunk” and Jane Ache, my mother’s parents, have been foundational in all aspects of my life. Aside from vacations on the beach or journeys through the woods and mountains, Grandmom and Granddad’s house has always been one of my favorite places to be. As a little girl, I loved to sit on Granddad’s lap and listen to his stories of the African safari, the Bolivian jungle, and the Haitian villages. I remember bouncing on his back as he scampered along the green shag carpet, throwing his huge arm across his nose and into the air, and giving an “errruuuumph” noise. If I were lucky, after pretending we were elephants, we would pretend to be giraffes. He would take me out and raise me onto his great sturdy shoulders and let me pick green leaves out of the tallest trees. When I was in pre-school and kindergarten, there was no one else I would rather be with. Granddad was my ultimate favorite.
My grandparents were missionaries in Sierra Leone, Africa for three-and-a-half years until Grandmom was pregnant with their third child, and too ill to remain on the field. My mom’s family then returned to the States, and Granddad was a bi-vocational pastor in many small churches throughout Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and Michigan, and also taught history. Years later, Granddad returned to missions and traveled throughout Africa, as well as Haiti and India. Through the testimonies and stories of my granddad’s foreign ministry, in addition to my own experiences, my love for missions has grown into my passion, and I remember Granddad and his zeal every time I journey to a foreign land.
On my desk sits another special picture. The back reads: “Evangelist Harv Ache preaching the Gospel message of Jesus Christ to the villagers and Pastor Gokanakondo Sam Jaya Presada Rao is interpreting into Teluga language. M.O.I. India - 1985 project.” Though Granddad is not fully visible in this image, I can see and almost feel his passion. From the young boy in the front of the assembly, not quite three feet tall, to the frail and aged woman in the back, sitting on the dirt ground, it is evident that my granddad holds each one’s full attention. As Granddad preaches to the people, his arms are extended out, with his hands held open; and though I cannot see his face, I can imagine the passion in his eyes, his illustrious voice awing the gathered.
Like my granddad, I have developed a huge love for the world outside the United States, and for God’s children so disadvantaged, broken, and hungry. I have a deep respect for my grandfather, and even fourteen years after his death, Granddad has remained living in my love of culture, my passion for missions, and my desire to travel the world, sharing the love and Message of Christ. As I am being trained in missions, I think about being a missionary like my grandfather, selfless, full of love for God, His Word, and His people. I have thought about Granddad nearly every day for fourteen years, but today, the memories re different. I appreciate the things about my granddad that a three or four or five-year-old never could. My granddad was more than a missionary and more than a pastor; everything he did, every day of his life, was an absolute surrender of his will to God. My family tells me that I was his favorite grandchild, and I hope that he would be proud of the person I have become, a person trying to be just like him...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Significant Memories of 2007.

The good and the bad:

January 2007:
-I finally reached 2007 and my daily countdown began to graduation.

February 2007:
-Superbowl XLI, February 4, the Colts defeated the Bears 29-17.


March 2007:
-On March 29, Grandmom turned 78.

April 2007:
-I went to Ecuador on a missions trip for 10 days with my Senior class. There I learned lessons that have had huge impact on my life; also, I developed close friendships with Carlos and Abuelo, and especially with Geovani and Christine who I continue to talk weekly with.
-The day after I returned from Ecuador, I went to the Southwood prom with Evan, and the following weekend we went to Lakeview’s prom.

May 2007:
-May 26th I graduated from high school.

June 2007:
-On June 1st, Eldine Landis was killed in a motor accident.
-I attended my last teen camp as an eligible camper. The same week, I made a new best friend.

July 2007:
-In July, two very good friends adopted four rambunctious, yet beautiful children.
-I was a counselor at Junior Bible Camp for my third summer.

August 2007:
-I went to Baraboo Wisconsin to help some friends at their small dying church. I painted a wall that is now world famous, went to the Noah’s Ark (the world’s largest water park) and hiked some pretty amazing trails.
-Family Camp - always good times.

September 2007:
-Labor Day weekend I moved to IWU and began my first year as a college student.
-Evan & I broke up.
-Days later I turned 19.

October 2007:
-Over fall break I began volunteering at Francis Slocum elementary school. I did the required community service, but continued going because each of the children took a piece of my heart.
-I began watching Lost - the #1 drama of the 21st century.
-Halloween was Ryan’s 1-year death anniversary.

November 2007:
-I applied to World Impact and was accepted as a member of a team of seven girls who will be traveling to Cambodia on a mission trip in May of ‘08. This will be an entirely new experience in every aspect. Also, I will be ministering alongside Tim and Tiffany, two of my sweet friends who moved to Cambodia a year and half ago.
-I began a sponsorship of Turatsinze Emmanuel, a nine-year-old boy in Rwanda.
-My sister told us she is pregnant.

December 2007:
-After Christmas I went to Orlando for an international Wesleyan youth convention.
-While traveling across two time zones, I celebrated the turn of the 07/08 new year twice.