That is... until I got a call two weeks ago regarding my application to be a waitress at Bob Evans. What a perfect opportunity! I had no intentions of quitting work at the cemetery, but working an evening and weekend shift at Bob Evans and adding $$$ to our savings. I had two great interviews, and I was asked to schedule a third interview. After the second interview, I was confident that I would get the job; I even memorized the menu!
Then on the morning of interview #3, I woke up feeling incredibly stressed and overwhelmed. Something wasn't right. I opened my Bible to have my devotions and my reading of the day from Proverbs was Proverbs 3:5,6.
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
The job I have now at the cemetery is only temporary, and I have been so worried/stressed/anxious about finding another job when this job ends in September. On the morning of interview #3, I realized that I don’t trust God to provide another job [even though He was faithful to provide this job, just when I needed it!]
So I prayed and [somehow] worked up the guts to call and cancel my third interview.
Maybe God provided this restaurant job opportunity now to test me – to see if I still have faith in His provision; to see if I will still be faithful to be involved in the ministry now, or if I am too concerned about the future.
I have been selfish to think that NOW is only a time to prepare for a future of ministry and being used. God is requiring so much more of me NOW. I have been too blind to see that, because I have been looking at me and my own needs. While my intentions have been good – to prepare myself for a strong future ministry – the result has been what I believe is not the direction that God wants me to be walking in.
I believe He will provide (both now and later,) but I can’t honestly say that my belief has completely transformed the way that I am thinking and making decisions. If I trust that God will provide a job later, why am I worrying about finding one now? So I still have some fear and hesitations.
I am not going to get a second job; instead, I am going to look for places where I can be used by God. Please pray that my belief in God’s provision will help me to make better decisions and worry less.