Noomas.

How much time and energy do we spend wishing things were how they used to be? We often think about times in our past when things were different and want our lives to be like that again. Some of us have even come to believe that our best days may actually be behind us. But if we’re in some way hung up on the past, what does that mean for our lives now? How are we and those around us affected if we’re not fully present? If we’re longing for the way things used to be, what does that really say about our understanding and appreciation of our lives today? Maybe we need to learn to embrace our past for what it is, in order to live our lives to the fullest, right here, right now.

We want to know why we are here. If our lives really matter. How our religion is relevant to this life. Today. We want to understand what significance this minute, hour, week, month, and year has to our lives.To our world. We need a God who cares about this life, in this world, right now. We want to understand why everything we think, everything we say, and everything we do matters. We don’t want to just sit back and wait for something to happen or someday to come. We want to know if all the choices we make now will shape our world and lives for eternity. Because we want our lives to have meaning today, and our lives today to have meaning forever.


Some of the central claims of the Christian faith are the source of many discussions and heated debates. But are we always debating the right things? Maybe some of our discussions would change significantly if we had more insight into the actual circumstances that surrounded the first people of the Christian movement – if we had a better understanding of the things they did in the context of the world they lived in. Maybe some of the claims of the Christian faith that we typically perceive to be unique aren’t really that special at all. And at the same time maybe we don’t always put enough emphasis on the things that truly should matter in our lives.

We always think we know what’s missing from our lives in order to really make us happy, don’t we? If only I had that car, or that job, or if only I could lose those 15 lbs, then I’d be happy. Really? How often do we want something only to find out that it wasn’t that great after all? Sometimes we ask God for things and if he doesn’t deliver right away, we start questioning whether God really understands or even cares. Do we really trust God? Do we trust that God is good and sees a bigger picture than we ever could? It’s easy to want what’s right in front of us, but maybe God knows what’s better for us, and sometimes we just can’t see it.

I love Nooma.

Oh to be a child again.

Two fold blog:
1. I have realized that one of my most favorite things in this life is watching children participate in worship, in singing praises to our Lord. Last week I was a counselor at JBC, a camp for young children. One evening I found myself completely surrounded by little girls with their eyes closed, voices raised, hands lifted, and tears running down their faces. It was so inspiring to witness the passion and sincerity in their hearts. Yesterday morning I watched the India Children’s Choir perform in church and one certain beautiful little girl seized my attention. The song, in their native tongue, spoke something about having no earthly treasures, but Jesus is enough. What a powerful message to acknowledge and believe at such a young age.
2. I have really made many good friends in the last six months, yet I have also lost some really close high-quality friends. Not to death, but to other directions of life; change of address, change of family.. maybe I have changed. It will never get easy. I am half-expectant that the rest of my life may be this way, at least the next four years of college. One day I will move quite far from my family and my friends.. maybe with a husband and child. I have no idea where my life will lead, but I am learning to be dependant on Him to be “my steadfast”. There are so many in my life whom I have respected and depended on for guidance, many of whom have recently turned to another road. I am not ready to "grow up".. I hate "moving on". It often seems easier to others rather than to the true source, meanwhile I know I must also continually rely solely on God. Nonetheless, thank you to those who have always been there for me.

Holy Stomachache.

I have lost my special Bible. Sure, I have other Bibles; but this is the Bible. The Bible I have poured my heart into during the previous 3 or 4 years. The Bible I have shed so many tears over. The Bible that has given me strength and joy and peace when no one and nothing else could. The Bible that has proven to be truthful and promising. I have waited over a month for it to simply reappear from it’s vanish point, but it hasn’t. Maybe you would say I have placed all my eggs in one basket. I don’t care, I really really want my Bible, my special Bible. I know, they all speak the same message, but this one has really spoken to me on many occasions. I need that Bible, if for nothing else but security and attachment.

The Case of the Mistaken Identity.

In the recent weeks I have begun to fight an unrelenting battle to discover who I truly am, the being of my core. I am so continuously guilty of finding my identity in my surroundings, rather than in my heart and my soul. I find my identity in being a college freshman, in being Jessie’s twin sister, in being Evan’s girlfriend, in being a leader of my youth group, in my knowledge and experiences… I tend to take what people say I am and rightly make that who I am, in the full knowledge that that may or may not be me. My essence thrives on other’s opinions of who I am, not that I am out to impress but instead to live on what they suppose, rather than what I know. I let people believe what they think. Though I am a leader, I am not confident; I have no idea who I am or what I want in life. After eighteen years of life, I have yet to determine any possible gifts and abilities that I may possess. I do know that I am emotional. I am indecisive. I care about a person’s wants and needs. I want to live God’s best for my life, yet I have no concept of what it is.
I must find my identity in Christ. He designed my character, my being, and I cannot genuinely honor Him with my life until I am living out who and what He created me to be; whether that means breaking away from the forged and artificial person I have become or excavating my insides to recover the truth within my being.

Meanwhile, I had a really great time at camp. I am sad that this is my last summer as a camper, but I expect there will be greater opportunities in college; whether it be on a summer traveling team, or in a foreign country on a 6 week missions internship. I cannot imagine how uplifting, yet exhausting, a summer of service and sacrifice would be. The friends, memories, and lessons will never be forgotten.

The organic God.

Recently, I have discovered a danger in religion, that I will settle for a secondhand faith, one that appears to be polished on the outside but artificial.
This next week at camp I am only going to focus on developing an organic relationship with God. Organic in essence meaning natural, pure and essential; stripped of all pollutants and additives of this world. I am desiring to discover God in a healthy, refreshing new way so that I cannot help but fall in love all over again.
There is a fine line between how to be there and really be present and affect the world. In order to affect it and really be there, you have to be immersed in it. It is definitely a balancing act and something that is a challenge for me, how to really be in both worlds at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in this submerging progression. Now I am in the process of trying to figure out how to do both, how to be in the world, but not of the world. I am also, though more diligently, on a personal search for truth. I am taking in and being open to what I am taught, yet I must let doubt confirm my own beliefs.
We know a lot about God, just like we know a lot about Brad Pitt or George W. Bush, without truly knowing Him. There are no short-cuts or substitutes for knowing God ourselves. It is a pursuit that must always begin in the Word.
Through scriptures I have discovered a big-hearted and deeply mysterious God. In Him we find our identity. The Bible is a huge invitation into conformity to Christ. I admit it is usually the heavy-handed "why" questions that bottleneck my faith, but there comes a time when we have to move forward(!!!) with all of our questions, baggage and uncertainties to experience God.
I will never have God in the palm of my hands. There are aspects of God I will never know but, it is someone I can pursue my whole life and never grow exhausted.
I must shed potential familiarity and begin with a simple and purist agenda to know God, organically, through his word.

What is my focus?

God made me for a purpose - to have a relationship with Christ. It is the same purpose for which He has made each of us. Yet, He has also called each one of us. My purpose and my calling are different. I truely believe my calling is to lead others into fulfilling their purpose, by guiding them into a strong and faithful relationship with Christ. Others, the poverty stricken and destitute, into a relationship with hope and purpose.

Right now I am struggling with the idea of running track in college. I had a meeting early this morning with my high school track coach and the IWU track coach to discuss purpose and expectations and what-not. I have already had the priviledge of practicing alongside many IWU track athletes, so I have a good taste of what it may be like. It will be alot of work, alot, but he made it sound good, so good; though I am not yet convinced to participate or not participate.

I do not want this to just be something else I do. It is a huge commitment! We're talking daily practices September through May. Whoa, intense!! It would be a good thing to do. Many days I would enjoy it, many I would hate it. Despite coach's efforts to persuade me into believe this is one of my gifts, I am not yet "brainwashed". I have spiritual gifts and I have talents. I, maybe more than others, feel a strong conviction to use every part of who I am, even those worldly talents, in worship and admiration of God. If I were gifted artistically, my pieces would be used to glorify God, by possibly attaching scripture and theology into each work.

I must decide if I can choose to truly honor God in my running and throwing. Would my team, practices and meets be suitable as encouragers or as discouragers to run the true and final race?

Pray that purpose and my calling are the central focus in my every decision making in the next four years and in the entirety of my life.

Who are you going to bless?

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

There is a popular bumper sticker that reads “God Bless America,” but has not America already been blessed? It is so easy for us to fall into a mindset of viewing “our” world as “the” world, because it is all we generally see. We are constantly bombarded with images of the latest styles and models of everything, and it can easily leave us feeling like what we have is not enough because we see people that have even more than us. But how does what we have compare to what most people in the world have? I can tell you that what we have is enough; it is more than enough. God has blessed us with everything we have so we can bless and give to others. God bless America? America bless Niger. America bless Sudan. America bless Haiti. America, bless! God bless America should not mean doom everyone else. Serving is sacrifice. Take a hold of the life that is true life! Step in to your divine responsibility to give and to give abundantly.


Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.

30,000 children die each day due to poverty. They die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world.

Number of children in the world: 2.2 billion
Number of children in poverty: 1 billion
(globalissues.org)



Luke 4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed.

1. I feel blessed to have plenty more than enough.
2. I feel blessed to be called to minister to those who have nothing.

A self-sacrifice that costs eternity

So there are these verses in the Bible..

Romans 9:2,3; 10:1; 11:13,14
I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers... Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for the Israelites is that they may be saved... Inasmuch as I am the apostle to the Gentiles, I make much of my ministry in the hope that I may somehow arouse my own people to envy and save some of them.
Paul, the writer of these passages, is willing to be accursed to facilitate the salvation his companions. Paul would give up his position in Heaven, so as to allow his friends into Heaven.
What have I given up to save a lost soul? A weekend? A favorite television show? Lunch with my friends? What would be the kicker, "Oh God, anything but that!" You cannot sacrifice what costs nothing. Be conscientious and continual.

Christianity is not an attachment to our lives, it IS our lives. Would the church grow if Peyton Manning, Lebron James, or Oprah were there? Jesus is there.

Also, for your viewing pleasure:

A video of the Zambian Orphan choir, ministry of World Hope International.